Just one woman
by Avalon Athena
Summary: Grissom contemplates the women in his live and finds that just one woman really understands him. Small spoilers for Rashomama. GSR. I don't own any CSI characters.


Just one woman

"The intricacies of our nature could never be understood by just one woman."

Grissom couldn't remember a time in which he disagreed with Hodges more. A lot of women had tried to understand him, but as far as he was concerned only one had succeeded.

There was dr. Terri Miller, she was gorgeous, she knew how to make herself look like an actress from the olden days. She had shared his passion for insects, had allowed his tarantula to walk on her perfectly manicured hand. She was intelligent, liked to talk to him, she liked to see him do experiments and help him. She had accepted his working hours, understood what his work meant to him, but in the meantime misunderstood it as well.

She hadn't had the patience to see where his priorities could lie. She hadn't had the patience to see whether he could feel as passionately about a woman as he did about his insects or work. In the end she hadn't understood his nature, she hadn't known him.

Then there was Heather Kessler, Lady Heather, beautiful, well dressed, mysterious, tough as nails, intellectual heather. She knew how to dress, so her finest assets would be highlighted. She knew how to make a man do what she wanted. And she like to have tea like civilized people. Okay, she had owned a sex business and she was a dominatrix, but she was sharp and could point him the false points in arguments, she understood people and their needs.

Yes she rattled him, and yes she had seen his fear to be known. But she had missed a part in that: he wasn't afraid to be known by the one woman he completely trusted and truly loved. And there was more, Heather wore her mysterious demeanour like a cloak, without it she felt exposed, vulnerable. She was a hypocrite of sorts, she herself was afraid to be known.

She had come close to understanding him, but he wondered how their relationship could blossom when neither of them wanted to be known by the other.

Sophia Curtis had been another woman who had tried to find his heart. Her blonde hair flowed on her back like a refreshing waterfall, crashing down on the rocks, it was beautiful. He had felt sorry for her, for how Ecklie had treaded her for doing a good job. She had come to him to tell him straight up, that she was going to do the investigation into his work. He had seen she was apprehensive about it.

She had been a nice colleague, he had liked to work with her. She was thorough in her work, she was devoted to her work, but he seriously wondered whether she would sit with him watching a decomposing pig. She had her own way of working, which hadn't worked for him. Sure he had asked her for dinner, but only because she was safe. He wouldn't let her get under his skin and he wouldn't show her his heart.

In the end she was a friend nothing more, nothing less. His heart was safe from her.

His old friend Catherine had tried to understand him from the first time they met. She had come a long way. Catherine had a great body, well she had been a stripper. Her strawberry blonde hair was always done up wonderfully. And she always wore clothes that fitted her to perfection. She was his go-to-friend in times of political and social emergencies. She did good work and liked to test theories, but she wouldn't burn a pig to test the utterly ridiculous theory of self combustion of a human body, just because it hadn't been tested before. She sometimes saw things about him that others didn't see that easily. He had been appreciative of her coming for his surgery, but he would never be able to see her as anything other then a good friend.

No as far as Grissom was concerned al those women didn't get close to completely understanding his nature. That was a feat just one woman had accomplished: Sara.

Sara with the beautiful gap in her front teeth, with her naturally curly hair, that was often straightened. Sara who didn't care for clothes beyond the question of comfort and practicality. Sara who didn't use much make-up, and didn't need it.

Sara who watched a decomposing pig with him, because they needed to break the case. Sara who watched a pig burn to test the ridiculous theory of self combustion, because she needed to see it for herself. Sara who told him there were computer programs to tell whether a body had fallen, was pushed or had jumped of a building.

Sara who understood him so well that se could help him further in a case by recounting a well known riddle and could calm him with a few words. Sara whom he could work with so well, that sometimes they just needed to glance at each other to know what the other was thinking.

Sara who had survived a childhood trauma and come away with just a temper that once in a while reared it's head. Sara who had willingly told him about that childhood, who had shown him her vulnerable side.

Sara who had unknowingly taught him to appreciate beauty. Sara who wasn't afraid to speak her mind, even when that could cost her her job. Sara who wasn't afraid to counter him on theories he suggested. Sara who wasn't afraid to say things to him to make him feel like a bit of a hypocrite. Sara who wasn't afraid to confront him when she felt like he was measuring with two measures. Sara who had refused to tell him her weight, after he had gotten Warrick's weight under thread of getting a scale.

Sara who came to Vegas when he needed her and asked her to do a job no one would want to do. Sara who had stayed in Vegas when he asked, even after receiving the cold shoulder from the team. Sara who did the same job again later on. Sara who had stayed after he sent her a plant to apologize, who had understood that gesture.

Sara who sometimes did reckless things if she thought it would help. Sara who sometimes did reckless things, without thinking about it or it's consequences. Sara who had asked him to sleep with her just to make him see how she felt. Sara who had made him see things from another perspective by being herself. Sara who had been locked in a confined space with a mental patient, with a shard of ceramics pressed to her throat. Sara who had sat on the sidewalk with a cut in her hand, looking lost and very alone, but had thought of the lab right away.

Sara who was never to tired to learn, who could recite his words, word for word. Sara who recognized the quotes and gave her opinion about their sources. Sara who could read articles and recite them when she needed the information.

Sara who taught people her knowledge, with patience and in a way that suited the students. Sara who had trained Greg and who explained to Greg and Nick the origin of the bridesmaids. Sara who had told them that she wasn't anti-wedding, just anti stupid, that she didn't like doing things for the sake of tradition without knowing why. Sara who like Grissom would always be searching for the why's in the world.

Sara who challenged him, dared him, infuriated him, scared him, endeared him, flirted with him –and he would flirt right back to her-, completed him and loved him.

Sara was the one woman who understood him and Grissom couldn't be happier about that.


End file.
